The SHORTY Bumper Stickers
All my SHORTY'S Shortys In The House: ¡VENCEREMOS!
If you keep on doing what you've been doing;
You're gonna keep on getting what you've been getting.
In one of those IRONMAN Episodes, IRONMAN has to chose between saving The President, and saving his WOMAN. What do you think he did? Three times before in my lifetime, the President was replaced in a few minutes. As compared to your Boo!
EVERYBODY has heard and Believed that: "The early bird gets the worm." So did I. Until SHORTY Enlightened me that: "All of the Birds are Early! SHORTY says:
"It is the Earliest Bird that gets the worm."
My name is Caprice, and I am the coolest thing since the Peppermint Patty.
I am so cool, in fact, that SHORTY, The Creator of the Heavens and the Earth, and Sovereign of the Kingdom of Heaven, has appointed Me to be the Ambassador–at-Large of the Kingdom of Heaven.
As you probably already know, an Ambassador-at-Large is a Diplomatic Official of the Highest Order, sent by a Sovereign to accomplish a Special Mission.
My Special Mission is named EXODUS2™ - The Evolution Revolution, and it will take Humankind to the next Quantum Level, from Homo Sapiens to Homo Creators. EXODUS2™ will lift up ALL of Humankind to an Infinitely Higher state of Consciousness, synergistically multiplying the potency of YOUR Creative Conscious Energy by more than 7,000,000,000 times. You and I, ALL of us, as Individuals, will be like GOD! This is our Inheritance, our Birthright; and now we have the Technology to attain this incomparably Majestic Apotheosis.
Many of the Prophets have spoken of this time; All of the World’s Major Religions, and the Mayan Long-Count Calendar, have predicted that it would arrive at EXACTLY this point in our History.
Aren’t YOU expecting it? Of course you are. Well, here it is:
Albert Einstein said that: “We can’t solve our problems on the same level that we created them.” Anybody who believes that the Planet Earth can sustain the degree of abuse that Humankind is relentlessly destroying her with, is acting like an ostrich.
Therefore, to stop this destruction, we must go to a higher Level.
2,000 YEARS AGO The Master, Jerusalem Slim, The Palestine Pimp (Hey, THAT’S Really Old School. That’s “Back in MY Day”). Many who read that nom de plume will be highly offended. I couldn’t care less. I am not trying to convince YOU.
Dr. Max Planck, 1917 Nobel Prize Laureate in Physics, said: “A new Scientific Truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and making them see the light, but rather because its opponents eventually die, and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it.”
So, let’s be clear about who I am addressing with this here; I am addressing that New Generation: I CUSS, I FART, I SMOKE WEED, I WATCH PORN and I MASTURBATE!!! No tellin what all else I be doin. If that's gonna interfere, in any way, with you accepting the importance and value of the things I wish to impart to you, then STOP RIGHT HERE - and don't waste any more of your time. Otherwise; back to where I left off:
2,000 years ago The Master, Jerusalem Slim, The Palestine Pimp, said: “no one puts new wine into old wineskins” [or some very foul shit could happen to all of your new wine]. “But new wine must be put into fresh wineskins”. Matthew 9:17, Mark 2:22, Luke 5:37, 38 NAS.
The same is true of New Concepts --- they “must be put into Fresh [Vocabularies]”; cf., Music, Computers, Medicine, etc.
Please let me share some New Concepts with you about a Concept first mentioned about 2,000 years ago, by The Master, Jerusalem Slim, the Palestine Pimp --- The Kingdom of Heaven. The Master said: “the kingdom of God is in your midst.”
Luke 17:21(B) NAS; other translations read: “within you”. WHATEVER! Neither is
accurate. The Kingdom of Heaven encompasses EVERYTHING, EERTHING, and it is silly to suggest that EVERYTHING, EERTHING, could begin to be encompassed by “within you” or “in your midst”; in any way what-so-ever !!!
It would be more accurate to say that The Kingdom of Heaven can be readily accessed and manipulated from “within you” or “in your midst”; through our Minds.
The Master also said: “the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and violent men take it by force.” Matthew 11:12(B).
One more thing The Master said about The Kingdom of Heaven, which fits our purposes here. Speaking to Peter, He said: “I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; and whatever you shall bind on earth shall have been bound in heaven, and whatever you shall loose on earth shall have been loosed in heaven.” Matthew 16:19.
I HAVE THOSE KEYS !!!
AND I WANT TO GIVE THEM TO YOU,
ABSOLUTELY FREE !!!
Unfortunately, it is at this point that The Kingdom of Heaven rises to a level of Conceptual Understanding which requires that New Vocabulary of Infinities, that is so sadly lacking in the Finite Vocabularies of today’s world. However, I don’t believe that we have to concern ourselves with any of that nonsense, any more than we have to concern ourselves with ohms and amps when we turn on a light, or the TV.
FAITH IS THE WORD WE NEED NOW!
The word “Faith” is mentioned only two times in the entire Old Testament, and then as “faithfulness”: Deuteronomy 32:20; Habakkuk 2:4. The word “Faith”, by itself, is mentioned 320 times in the New Testament; along with “faithful” (about 80 times), “faithfully” (8 times), and “faithfulness” (about 275 times).
This is a No Brainer --- Does that make sense to you?
The Master mentions Faith 25 times in the Synoptic Gospels; the last one of which applies equally to you – Here and Now. Begin at verse 31: “Simon, Simon behold, Satan has demanded permission to sift you like wheat; (32) but I have prayed for you, that your faith may not fail; and you, once you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.” Luke 22:31, 32 NAS.
Paul speaks of Faith like this: “while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal [physical/facts], but the things which are not seen are eternal [spiritual/faith].” 2 Corinthians 4:18 NAS.
What, exactly, is this thing called Faith? Paul tells us: “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” And he offers us this most important caveat: “And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.” Hebrews 11:1, 6 NAS.
If, as Albert Einstein says, we must go to another level, to solve the problems that we have created on this level; may I suggest that we move to the level of FAITH?
For our purposes, we should all think of Faith like this: “When you come to the end of ALL the Light you have ever known, and you are about to leap out into the darkness; Faith is knowing that there will be something there for you to stand on, or you will be taught how to Fly!” Anonymous. This is a definition of "Faith" that we ALL must agree on, as we move towards this Majestic Apotheosis that is our Inheritance and Birthright. "Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has chosen gladly to give you the kingdom." Luke 12:32 NAS
And since we don’t have the mental capacity to conceptually function in the realm of the infinite Kingdom of Heaven, may I suggest that we break this down into little bite-size pieces, that we can digest with our finite minds? We can do this if we concentrate only on our own little corner of The Kingdom of Heaven, which we can call: Sugar Candy Mountain, from George Orwell’s Animal Farm.
Likewise, EXODUS 2™ - The Evolution Revolution will be achieved by simple means - by DESIRE and THINKING, combined with FAITH.
It’s not at all complicated. I mean, like, It's soooo simple that even a Corrections Officer might even be able to understand It --- along with Joe Neckbone, the Village Idiot, and FBI Agents.
If you keep on doing what you've been doing;
You're gonna keep on getting what you've been getting.
I am certain that you will really enjoy reading my A SHORTY FAIRYTALE; and you will be able to grasp a connection between my A SHORTY FAIRYTALE and my SPECIAL MISSION, if you will consider that: the “very poor little village” is the world; the “Villagers” are the inhabitants of the world; the “itsy-bitsy teensy fish” are the peoples’present potentialities and capacities; the “1,000 pound fish” are the peoples’ prospective potentialities and capacities; the “Old Fisherman” is me; and the “Region where the 1,000 pound fish abound” is none other than The Collective Consciousness of Humankind ---aka--- EXODUS2™.
ONCE UPON A TIME there was a very poor little village by the seaside. The Villagers there made their living by catching fish in their nets; but all they ever caught were real itsy-bitsy, teensy fish, like minnows and sardines. None of the Villagers ever had “more than enough” fish to eat; barely did they have enough fish to survive with, from day-to-day.
IT CAME TO PASS that one day an Old Fisherman came into the village, and he was carrying a gigantic, 25 pound fish. All of the Villagers exclaimed: “MY GOODNESS! Will you get a load of the size of that fish! Never, nowhere, has anyone even heard of a fish that big. Why, I bet you that we could make at least a hundred fish sandwiches with that whopper.”
The Old Fisherman replied: “People! This fish is not for eating. It is only for bait. For, “out there”, beyond that point where the limits of your imagination and vision falter and fail, there are fish that grow to be even bigger than 1,000 pounds. If you will but trust me, and work with me, to help me build a boat, and braid a line, and make a hook; and give me a dozen brave and fearless Villagers to accompany and assist me; I will lead you all to that marvelous and plentiful Region where the 1,000 pound fish abound. Then there will surely be ‘more than enough’ fish to feed ALL OF YOU – for ever, and ever, and ever.”
When the Villagers heard that, nearly all of them said: “Yeah! Right! Picture THAT! Let’s take that gigantic fish away from that silly and stupid, crazy old coot; and let’s eat it RIGHT NOW! Then we can ridicule that old fool; and mock him and scorn him; and maybe even beat him up, and throw him out of our village, and kill him.”
But a few of the Villagers believed in the Old Fisherman, and they prevailed upon the others to trust, and help, the Old Fisherman. They helped him to build a large boat, braid a long, strong line, and forge a very big hook, Then they set out for that Region where those1,000 pound fish abound.
NOT MANY DAYS LATER the boat returned; and, lo and behold, to EVERYONE’S absolute amazement, the Old Fisherman had, indeed, caught a giant fish that was even bigger than 1,000 pounds.
All of the Villagers wanted to immediately feast on that colossal fish. But the Old Fisherman said: ”NO! First we must cut four 25 pound strips from the side of this fish, or 10 percent, to be used for more bait, so that we can catch some more of these 1,000 pound fish [TITHING: (Malachi 3:7-12; Luke 6:38)]. And by continuing in that way, you can ensure that you will NEVER exhaust the Infinite supply of these magnificent, stupendous, extraordinary and beautiful fish.”
By following the Old Fisherman’s instructions and teachings, it was not too long before all of the Villagers had “more than enough” fish to eat for themselves --- with a never-ending, inexhaustible supply of the most delicious and nutritious, succulent fish imaginable. So they traded and sold all of the excess of their new-found abundant bounty, to all of the other villages – near and far; thereby becoming the happiest and wealthiest village in the entire world.
And they all LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
PS.: Of course the Old Fisherman married the young and very beautiful, vivacious and very intelligent Princess; and everyone was blessed for the rest of their contented days
When He had stopped speaking, he said to Simon, “Launch out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.” But Simon answered and said to Him, “Master, we have toiled all night and caught nothing; nevertheless, at Your word I will let down the net.” And when they had done this, they caught a great number of fish, and their net was breaking. So they signaled to their partners in the other boat to come and help them. And they came and filled both the boats, so that they began to sink.” (Luke 5:4-7 NKJ)
(I wrote this A SHORTY Fairytale while I was in Clinton Correctional Facility, New York, 2003 - 2010)
Allow us to introduce ourselves. Learn more about our company’s origins and about our dedicated staff members. We're looking forward to serving you!
The Kingdom of Heaven: "is in your midst." Luke 17:21(B)
Phone: +1 (347) 530-4025
Expanded business hours
We're now open earlier to serve you better.
New online presence
Now you can find current information about our services online.