A Message From Ambassador Caprice

 

I’m gonna begin by debunking a very nasty rumor, which I’m sure that anybody over ten years old has heard before. That nasty rumor is this: If you are in Prison, and you drop your soap in the shower, something very embarrassing, very nasty, and very, very painful will happen to you. You’ve all heard that before, right?

Well, I have been incarcerated in over a dozen penal institu-tions: I have been locked up in City Jails; in County Jails; in State Prisons; in Federal Prisons; and in a Military Stockade. I guess if anybody can be considered an Expert on Prison Life, it is me; and I can tell you that that rumor is absolutely untrue. In no prison in America, or even the World, will anything bad happen to you if you drop your soap in the shower.

However, if there is anyone, who is so naive, so ignorant, so absolutely and totally stupid, that they would bend over to pick up their soap --- hey, what can I tell you? Well, I can tell you this:

My name is Caprice, and I am the coolest thing since the Peppermint Patty.

           I am so cool, in fact, that SHORTY, The Creator of the Heavens and the Earth, and Sovereign of the Kingdom of Heaven, has appointed Me to be the Ambassador–at-Large of the Kingdom of Heaven.

           As you probably already know, an Ambassador-at-Large is a Diplomatic Official of the Highest Order, sent by a Sovereign to accomplish a Special Mission.

           My Special Mission is named EXODUS2™ - The Evolution Revolution, and it will take Humankind to the next Quantum Level, from Homo Sapiens to Homo Creators. EXODUS2™ will lift up ALL of Humankind to an Infinitely Higher state of Consciousness, synergistically multiplying the potency of  YOUR Creative Conscious Energy by more than 7,000,000,000 times.  You and I, ALL of us, as Indivi-duals, will be like GOD!

This is our Inheritance, our Birthright; and now we have the Technology to attain this incomparably Majestic Apotheosis.

           Many of the Prophets have spoken of this time. All of the World’s Major Religions, and the Mayan Long-Count Calendar, have predicted that it would arrive at EXACTLY this point in our History. Aren’t YOU expecting it? Of course you are. Well, I am here to open this up for you.

          It was the Big Holiday, and the little girl was in the kitchen, helping her Mom and Grandmom prepare the Holiday Dinner. Mom was preparing the ham; Grandmom was preparing the turkey; and Great-Grandmom was in the livingroom, chill-laxing, Sweating Harry on the TV, slurpping on some pluck, and toking on a monster spliff.

          At one point Mom cuts off the end of the ham, before putting it in the baking pan. The little girl asks her Mom: Mom, why did you cut off the end of the ham before you put it in the baking pan? Mom says: Why, I have no idea. That’s the way I learned to do it from my Mom. Why don’t you ask Grandmom.

          So the little girl asks her Grandmom: G-ma, why do you cut off the end of the ham before you put it in the baking pan? Grandmom says: I have no idea. That’s the way I learned to do it from my Mom. Why don’t you ask Great-Grandmom?

          The little girl goes in the livingroom and asks her Great-Grandmom: G-G-ma, why do you cut off the end of the ham

before you put it in the baking pan?

          Great-Grandmom takes a toke off of her monster spliff, and says: I have no idea why those two cut off the ends of their hams; but I always cut off the end of my hams, because my baking pan was too small.

          America’s most renown philosopher, Ralph Waldo Emerson, said: A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

          A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

          4,000 years ago our Creator, SHORTY, allegedly told the Jews not to eat pork. Well, as far as I’m concerned, the only thing wrong with a pig, is that it ain’t as big as an elephant.

          While I am talking about pigs, let me interject something here that I learned from my big Sister. That’s right, my People, there are some people who are older than me. Anyway, my big Sister says that men are always talking about how it’s stupid to buy a whole cow, when all they want is some milk. Nowadays women are saying, why should they buy a whole pig, when all they want is some sausage?

          Back to the Bible’s prohibition on eating pork. If SHORTY had told them that pork had some very nasty, very little buggers in it that could give them a dose of trichinosis; nobody would have understood what the heck She was talking about.

          But now we have electron-microscopes, and we can see the little buggers that cause trichinosis --- and we now know to cook the pork long enough to kill all of those little buggers.

             A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

          The same thing goes for fornication. There are some different little buggers that cause STDs. But now we have condoms, and we don’t have to worry about those buggers spreading all over the place, and infecting everybody.

          And what about Sex? Something that I’m too old to worry about, right? Wrong! When you get too old to cut the mustard, you can damn sure lick the jar.

          Anyway, the very first commandment that SHORTY gave to

Humankind was in the first chapter of the first book of the Bible. Genesis 1:28 tells Humankind to “Be fruitful and multiply”. Now, you can’t do that by bouncing up and down on one foot. The only way to accomplish that, is for a man and a woman to have Sex.

          To make sure that Humankind obeyed that commandment, SHORTY made Sex enjoyable. Very, very enjoyable. If Sex was like eating Brussels Sprouts, we would all do it only one time, and NEVER again. We would be like: Hell, freaking no! I did that once, but I ain’t never gonna do that again. Adam and Eve would have had Cain --- and stopped right there.

             YEAH, Sex is very enjoyable; whether between a man and a woman; a man and a man; a woman and a woman; or even if you “do your laundry by hand”; Sex is very, very enjoyable.

          But, only Sex between a man and a woman will accomplish the command that SHORTY gave Humankind in Genesis 1:28.

          So SHORTY had to issue prohibitions against same-sex Sex, and masturbation. But is there anyone who can now say that the objective of Genesis 1:28 has not been more than accomplished? With more than 7,000,000,000 people on the planet, we now

have at least one Country that is severely restricting births.

          A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

          In “The Rooms” we are taught that if you keep on doing what you’ve been doing, you’re gonna keep on getting what you’ve been getting. It’s time to start teaching that to ALL Organized Religions. The Jews have been waiting for over 4,000 years; the Christians have been waiting for 2,000 years; the Muslims have been waiting for 1,500 years. Waiting for the same thing. If you keep on doing what you’ve been doing, you’re gonna keep on getting what you’ve been getting.

            A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

          Since I was raised to believe Protestantism, I will speak on that part of Organized Religion. If the Master said that he was coming back; is it not reasonable to expect that he would come back within a respectable amount of time? How can anybody think that 2,000 years is within a respectable amount of time.

          Isn’t it more reasonable to consider that somehow we got the message wrong? Isn’t it more reasonable to think that something got lost in the translation? Or are we to wait another 2,000 years?

          A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

          When the Master spoke, sometimes he clearly spoke as the

man, Jesus; and sometimes he clearly spoke on the behalf of the spirit, the Christ. When he promised to come back, he wasn’t speaking of the man, Jesus; he was speaking of the spirit, the Christ. Jesus very clearly denied that he, Jesus, was the Christ – in all three of the Synoptic Gospels, when he said: “How is it that they say the Christ is David’s son? For David himself says in the book of Psalms, ‘The Lord said to my lord, Sit at my right hand until I make thine enemies a footstool for thy feet.’ If David therefore calls Him ‘lord’ how is He his son?”

          Organized Religion wants you to believe that you are separate from SHORTY; they do not want you to know that you and SHORTY are one and the same. But the Master clearly lets us know in John 17:21, where he prays to SHORTY: “that they may all be one; even as Thou, Father, art in me, and I in Thee, that they also may be in Us.” This goes with what the Master told us in John 8:32: “and you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

          Please visit my website, exodus2.org, if you want to be free.

And get on your Social Media, to tell your family and friends.

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

 

 

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